When God Doesn’t Answer

It would be easy to believe that God exists for me. After all, I spend a lot of time consumed by myself. "I" am a subject that I'm quite familiar with.

So what happens when I pray for something that doesn't get answered? Did God somehow not hear me? Doesn't He care? It seems like an insecure thing to say, but perhaps it's my insecurity that led me to question Him in the first place.

I find that the more I learn about God, the more I learn what a mature faith is all about. There comes a time when my desires must align with God's desires for me. After all, He desires my holistic well-being. Why wouldn't I want that? Because it takes time, that's why. And I get impatient. And it seems rather rude for God to make an impatient person wait. But impatience is the result of selfishness, and selfishness is something that God wants to root out of my life; because if He doesn't, then I will never experience the wellness He desires for me.

But is selfishness really that bad? Well, yes. It's said that God is the biggest fan of those are down-and-out; those who are in pain, widows, orphans, poor, imprisoned, impoverished, oppressed, persecuted and neglected. God is extremely ticked-off when my selfishness gets in the way of my serving others who are in need.

So that takes me back to the first question: What happens when my prayers remain unanswered? Why does He sometimes seem so distant?It's because He wants me to grow and He knows I'll never really do that if He always comes to my rescue. There comes a time when I must take whatever bible knowledge I have and apply it to the context of my current situation. I find that a lot of the time, I already know what God wants me to do; the problem is that I don't want to do it because it seems really painful. But it's in the context of my greatest pain that God is truly closest to me. And it's a direct result of this closeness with God that He gives me what He desires the most for me.

Holistic Well-Being. Unending joy. Freedom from fear. Relational reconciliation. Things that money can never buy.

And when I've made the correct decision, I find myself forgetting about "I" and remembering about "Him." And all of the pain seems worth it. And it's there that God's unanswered prayers yield the greatest reward; a peace that surpasses all circumstantial understanding. When God doesn't answer, that's when He answers the most. We just need to ask the right questions.

"How can I love Him more today than yesterday?" By loving those the world deems unlovely. Everyone is loved by God. Not everyone knows it. And that's the way I should be praying; to see God's will done on planet earth. He wants to heal us in the context of a personal relationship with Him. Can you imagine what would happen if more people prayed that way? There would be a lot less brokenness in humanity. The good news is that Jesus already made this possible. We just have to choose to walk in it.

Healing can exist, if we want it. And God is just waiting to grant it to us. But there's going to be pain. And it's in the context of that pain that we'll come to know the closeness of God.

The Journey Begins. . .

This will be the first of many postings on the subject of piety. I am endeavoring to grow closer to Jesus Christ through numerous methods of prayer & practice. My first such experiment occurred on October 2nd.

For quite some time I had believed that my goal at Trinity was to grow in my knowledge of scripture -- orthodoxy -- in order to supplement my already thriving relationship with God -- piety -- only to find that both were, in fact, quite equally deficient. This was an extremely tough pill to swallow, as I was left aloof in what should have been a solid foundational stepping stone towards religious transcendence & internal transformation. And where was God in the midst of all of this? It became another one of those "desert times" where I knew God was present in my life, though could not for the life of me feel His closeness any longer.

It was Thursday, October 2nd. I had sought God with my whole heart. In a moment of solitude, I cried out, "God, I need to feel you again. I need to hear from you again. I won't take another step until I hear from you in a way that I can understand, and clearly so, what you want from me."

I guess that was what God was waiting for. Moments later, a friend of mine spoke to me from scripture concerning the need for me to keep my "focus on Jesus" as Peter did when he miraculously walked on water. After that, another friend told me that I needed to "let go of the penny so God can give [me] a credit card." The meanings were clear to me: I had been struggling with letting go of the things that held me back from my relationship with Jesus & was then called to focus solely on Him, after which He would bless me with the things that were altogether better.

I feel like this is the beginning of a very intense time of discipline for me, and I am certain that God is withdrawing the "closeness" I had come to take for granted so that I will not become a slave to feelings; rather, that I should be mastered by a true truth and a faithful faith that is not swayed by fanciful "winds of doctrine or the cunning of men" or even of my own deceitful desires and intuition. I am pursuing the Truth, and I endeavor to be "set free."