The Journey Begins. . .

This will be the first of many postings on the subject of piety. I am endeavoring to grow closer to Jesus Christ through numerous methods of prayer & practice. My first such experiment occurred on October 2nd.

For quite some time I had believed that my goal at Trinity was to grow in my knowledge of scripture -- orthodoxy -- in order to supplement my already thriving relationship with God -- piety -- only to find that both were, in fact, quite equally deficient. This was an extremely tough pill to swallow, as I was left aloof in what should have been a solid foundational stepping stone towards religious transcendence & internal transformation. And where was God in the midst of all of this? It became another one of those "desert times" where I knew God was present in my life, though could not for the life of me feel His closeness any longer.

It was Thursday, October 2nd. I had sought God with my whole heart. In a moment of solitude, I cried out, "God, I need to feel you again. I need to hear from you again. I won't take another step until I hear from you in a way that I can understand, and clearly so, what you want from me."

I guess that was what God was waiting for. Moments later, a friend of mine spoke to me from scripture concerning the need for me to keep my "focus on Jesus" as Peter did when he miraculously walked on water. After that, another friend told me that I needed to "let go of the penny so God can give [me] a credit card." The meanings were clear to me: I had been struggling with letting go of the things that held me back from my relationship with Jesus & was then called to focus solely on Him, after which He would bless me with the things that were altogether better.

I feel like this is the beginning of a very intense time of discipline for me, and I am certain that God is withdrawing the "closeness" I had come to take for granted so that I will not become a slave to feelings; rather, that I should be mastered by a true truth and a faithful faith that is not swayed by fanciful "winds of doctrine or the cunning of men" or even of my own deceitful desires and intuition. I am pursuing the Truth, and I endeavor to be "set free."