Hosea

God wants to pursue me and I Him.

Thankfully, my second Prayer & Praise experience was altogether better. I had arrived early and with my elevator key. This was a very good sign.

Upon entry, I met up with the evening’s speaker. He was lost in thought, and so I simply passed him by. He then called out to me, which took me by surprise. And so I turned about-face and spoke with him.

He said that he had changed the sermon 48 hours before this, and that he was just hoping to present what was on his heart, which at this point in his life was proof that God was still pursuing him. I nodded and smiled. I really didn’t know what to say. And so I blessed him, prayed that God would anoint his words, and then I left him to his preparations.

After entering the commons and making an instant survey of my surroundings, I decided to head straight for the men’s lavatory. I had not even cleared half-way through the commons before hearing a classmate yelling from across the room, “ANTHONY! YOU’RE HERE!”

I didn’t know what to say. So I kept walking. The student kept to her laptop and I heard nothing more from her.

After arriving in the lavatory, I began to pray. “Lord, quiet my heart. Grant me your peace. Allow me to be a blessing tonight.” From then on, I experienced something altogether amazing.

I re-entered the commons area refreshed and ready to serve. I introduced myself to a young sophomore at Trinity and commented him on his beard. I then asked if there was anything I could do to serve. I’m not sure if anyone else knows that my profession is church production. I was then told that the best thing I could do was to “sit down.”

It was a rather disjointed feeling that came over me. Not only was I missing a sense of Christian community, but I had no place to offer my talents in service to anyone. What was God doing to me?

Once the service started, I did the best I could to worship God in spite of my discomfort. I felt those words echo through me: “I will become even more undignified than this.”

Then the speaker arose and began to offer his thoughts on the book of Hosea. I was stunned at his honesty and authenticity in sharing what he was wrestling with. I believe it takes someone very close to the heart of God to preach in the face of deep-seeded doubt.

He spoke about the context that the book was written in. He spoke about how Hosea was called to marry a prostitute. He spoke about how in the midst of Hosea’s personal pain, he had the perfect testimony to share with a people whose hearts had been so hardened for so long. He spoke about how God is the very essence of existence itself, and how it seems absurd for us as created beings to deny existence in order to pursue the things that distract us from what really matters. He called all of us to pursue an authentic relationship with God where we are His beloved, and He is ours. He then did something unexpected.

He asked us to turn in groups of two or three and pray with/for each other. He called us to be a community of people who actually exercise our faith by caring for the needs of one another, and so “bear one another’s burdens.”

And so we did. And the most wonderful thing happened.

I was privileged to listen to people’s issues and address them with empathy, Godly council and heartfelt prayer. I have yet to know if anything I did made a difference in their situations, but my hope is that God is now in control and will work all things out for good as they pursue their intimacy with Jesus Christ.

When we were done, we were called back to worship. And to my right and left were seated the people whom I had just prayed for. And as I allowed myself to “let go” and worship God with my whole heart, I felt the presence and voices of a great many people all around me worshipping God. Though it wasn’t a visual thing, it was certainly a visceral thing. And yet, when I opened my eyes, not only were there no more of us than were initially present, but I found myself alone where I was seated; the people I had prayed for were gone. And the great many voices were no longer heard.

Maybe I am completely mistaken, but I felt as though God inhabited the praises of His people in that moment in an extremely powerful way. God’s Spirit was so palpable I could almost taste it. This is not hyperbole.

And then the speaker called us all into a circle in the front of the room, where he corporately prayed over each of us, as well as the college itself. Unified in shape, with arms outstretched over each other’s shoulders, there was no mistaking the reciprocated unity that so closely mirrored the koinonia I had longed for the college to engender. Acts 2 and Galatians 6 were then a reality, not just an archaic story.

I left the event alone, once again. I lingered at my car for only a moment, but in that moment, an eternity. I gave thanks to God for His sovereign answer to prayer that came in His timing, on His terms. I was simply grateful to have played a tiny part. And I was left with this wonderful sense that even though I had done nothing to serve others in the way I had been accustomed due to my vocation, God allowed me to serve in a way that led me to grow in the areas that I desperately desire growth in, namely pastoral.

In the course of events that transpired, I discovered once again that as I pursue God, He has already been pursuing me and setting me up to serve Him in ways that suit both my experience and the occasion. I am not a very intelligent individual, but I’ve learned a few things from the school of hard knocks. It is better to give than to receive; in the act of giving to others, we receive from God more abundantly than we will ever hope or imagine.